The Biblical Role of a Father

 By Marianne Mauti

The Biblical Role of a Father

Sitting on my daddy's knee.
Here with my older sister.

More than ever before, it is important for men and women to acknowledge and re-affirm the role of 'Father' in the family.God created man and made him complete by creating a woman. Together they created an earthly family. This family unit became a type of God's eternal relationship with mankind. He is our head, we are His Church (the Bride of Christ) and together we are called to produce the family of God. God, our 'Heavenly Father' similarly structured our earthly families by placing man at the head.  The importance of maintaining this God-ordained family structure cannot be minimized and the headship role of husband and father is at the core of it's success . 

Without a proper Biblical understanding and acceptance of a his role in the family, it isn't possible for a man to spiritually and physically lead his family. Without a God ordained head the family structure can't be maintained. According to Gods plan, being a responsible father necessitates being a good husband (1 Cor. 7:1-5). God commands that a husband love, honor, nourish and cherish his wife (Eph. 5:25-30; Col. 3:19; 1 Pet. 3:7), then he will be in the right position to do the same as a good father.

When a man effectively leads his family and follows Biblical principles, the result is harmony, peace and fulfillment. It doesn't mean there are never any problems, what it does however provide, is the right formula for success. God promises that families that follow His plan will be blessed.  If the man fulfills His God-given role as a husband and father, he ultimately ensures the health and well being of his wife and children. 

The Role of Fathers in Today's Culture

Unfortunately today most men don't understand the importance of  God's family structure.  Men are sadly relinquishing their headship role in an alarming rate, in pursuit of material success. This has left an undue burdened on wives and results in less time with the children. It seems that in today's family formula anything goes. Any relationship role is acceptable, in any manner or form deemed time efficient, culturally acceptable and personally pleasing. As a result, for the last several decades, we have begun to see its effect on the family structure. So, how have modern social and economic formulas changed the role of the father? 

Before the industrial revolution, fathers often worked side by side with their sons and instruct their children in spiritual values. When industrialization took over the American landscape, fathers left their farms and headed to the factories. Fourteen to sixteen hour workdays set the stage for the absentee father. Fatherhood eventually came to be regarded as the breadwinner who fulfilled their parental duties by providing. They also led the family in establishing moral values and saw to the religious education of their children. 

The time spent away from the family began to erode the father's most important role, headship. Children began to relay more on the mother for their physical and spiritual instruction. Conversely, with more time away from their family, men were drawn to and influenced by alternate lifestyles which led to a sharp increase in abandonment, illegitimacy and  necessitated the development of welfare programs to assist the women and children affected. 

In more recent decades, the changing role of women has had the greatest impact on the role of the father. Between 1948-2001, working age women employed or looking for work nearly doubled from less than 33% to more than 60%. The increase in their financial independence made the financial leadership of the father less important. The increase rate of divorce , remarriage and childbirth outside of marriage, have resulted in a transition from the Biblical role of a father to multiple and undefined roles. Today's fathers have been forced to take on roles vastly different than the one God originally designed.

The Effect on Your Children

The increased rate of divorce and re-marriage, and the new multiple, undefined roles for fathers has not only effected the role of husbands and wives, but it has effected and redefined a fathers relationship with his children. One thing is clear , however the family is defined today, the role of the father is still as important as it was when God first instituted it. Recent research on the role of fathers reveals something the Bible has long advocated; the love and influence of a father's love on their child's development is as great as the influence of a mother's love. A fathers love and influence have been shown to help their children develop a sense of security, which directly effects their social, emotional and cognitive development and function. Children who receive more love from their fathers are less likely to struggle with behavioral and substance abuse problems.

If Christian men do not teach their sons how to be a Godly husband and father, by example,  we will continue to see decline in the family and an ongoing erosion of Godly principles and values in our society. As a result, we will continue to see tremendous fractures grow between parents and children. The lack of Christ centered love and discipline will continue  tear at the framework of the family. Many scholars agree that the heart of a successful civilization is a strong family structure. 

A Good Father

The Bible is a revelation of mans inability, apart from God, to live a blessed and prosperous life. Wherever there is sin and separation from God there will be problems. Knowing that, God is here to help families live and thrive in an imperfect world, even as we work through the consequences of our own mistakes. God begins by giving men and women defined roles and  relationship parameters in which to live.  Solomon, considered to be the wisest man to ever live, had his share of family problems. He reminds us in Ecclesiastes that whatever mankind is working through today are the same issues they were working through then. " What has been will be again, whatever has been done, will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. (Ecc. 1:9). If a successful civilization requires a strong family structure it would seem sensible for us to go to the Creator, read what He has to say about it! 

Most importantly, it is necessary for father's and mother's to understand and accept their  God-given roles. When you look at the confusion in male and female roles today, is it any wonder so many children are confused, emotionally disconnected and searching in all the wrong places for love, affection and acceptance. The restoration of a God centered family begins with understanding the proper Biblical role of the father! So how does God's Word define a good father? 

A Good Father... is one whose priorities in his family match those that Jesus described in Matthew 22: "Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the Law of Moses?" Jesus replied, " You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' The entire law and all demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments."

Love is inherent in God's nature, as his children we are called to give God the love that is within us. It is the greatest command because it is the foundation of our relationship with God, our creator. It is also the guiding principle and the foundation of relationship between a father and his children. It is in fact an earthly example given to our earthly children so that they can see and understand the love of God and His role in our eternal life! The Bible does give us a description of the way we should express our love one to another. It also shows us the heart of a father towards his children. God’s love is a selfless love and serves as the example of what a fathers love should also be. There is so much we can learn about the nature of fatherhood through our relationship with God: "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance." 1 Cor. 13; 4-7

A Good Father…. teaches his children how to live a Godly life, through instruction and discipline. He will treat them with love and dignity so that they understand the reason for the correction and do not become angry. It should always be done in the spirit of love: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord." Eph. 6:4

A Good Father …. is a giving father. He is giving of his time and resources to all of his children because he wants what is best for them. Luke 11:11-13 shows us the heart giving nature of a father: "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then thought you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!"

A Good Father… teaches his children how to serve others, to be benevolent and kind: "Father to the fatherless, defender of widows- this is God, whose dwellings holy." Psalm 68:5

A Good Father… disciplines those he loves. Our children need to understand that wrong behavior alway leads to consequences, sometimes very painful and life long ones. Far better for them to learn this from you than to find it out in jail someday: "For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights." Proverbs 3:12

A Good Father… is compassionate to his children. He tries to understand his children's issues and struggles, from their point of view. He takes into consideration all of the things they have to deal with in the world, and from their peers. He tries to remembers what he went through as a child. It is important to show our children there is mercy and forgiveness  for what they have done. By doing this you teach your children the compassion and mercy and forgiveness of God: "As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him." Psalm 103:13

A Good Father… teaches his children about God their 'Heavenly Father', through His Word. He shows them the way of eternal salvation through His Son Jesus Christ and how to receive the indwelling of His Holy Spirit so they are enable to live in in an imperfect world with God's power and authority. God has is given charge to instruct our children in all the ways of the Lord.

As For Me and My House

There is a wonderful example in the Bible of what God intended a father to be. It can be found in the book of Joshua 24:1-15. Joshua was a visible leader in his nation and also spiritual leader in his home. God's plan is that the father be the visible provider, protector, example and teacher to his children. A father must take responsibility for his family! 

A Responsible Father.... is one who takes his God given responsibilities with God’s help and carries them out. 14 "Now fear the Lord and serve Him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshipped beyond the River Euphrates and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then chose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:14-15

A Responsible Father…. believes in teaching their children dedication to God and biblical morality. Joshua believed that as a father he needed to make certain commitments to God and God's principles that were given to his people to live by. He was a Godly influence on his family and his nation. Many fathers today spend more time supporting their favorite sports team then spending time with their children. Find something you can all enjoy together. Whenever you spend time with your family you promote a healthy attitude of caring, sharing, giving and serving. All of these are the building blocks of character.

A Responsible Father… never places work above his family. If you feel it is more important for you to provide them money, cars, homes, game systems, vacations, computers etc. to you children than spending time with them, you are teaching them to misplace their values. You are also showing them that what is more important you than them. Giving them the reward of your hard work is never going to replace the importance of the value of your time in their lives.

My husband with his family!

A Responsible Father... lives by a set of standards and teaches his family the moral and ethics value of God's Word. Joshua was willing to take a stand that was not popular. “Choose you this day whom you will serve, as for me….". He made his choice based on his confidence, trust and love for God. While others chose to live for their own pleasure and selfish desires Joshua was a man who stood for what is right and he set an example for his family and nation. Joshua chose the road of faithfulness and obedience rather than the popularity and recognition of men. 

Being a Responsible Father... may mean you will have to occasionally make choices that are not popular with your family.  It takes conviction to live according to Gods word but it is your responsibility to do so, and if you truly love your children they will be more important than what others may think. 

A Responsible Father… is unselfish; each and every decision includes his family. He puts their need above his own. A mother was not designed to raise the children alone. God has delegated the responsibilities for raising children to both parents, and each fills a role that the other cannot perform. The father’s presence should be felt in his home through its rules, and its worship and with his gentle love, leadership, and example. Training and admonition mean more than simply discipline or punishment for wrongdoing. They imply that a father should spend time instructing and training his children to do what is right. Children need to understand how to do what is good and avoid those things, which are evil. A responsible father will show them the right path and start them out on it. The ultimate goal is to get  lead them in their walk with God, so eventually they will submit their life to Him. 

The greatest tragedy of we are experiencing today is the lack of Biblical understanding and the failure of even Christian fathers to accept  their leadership role! One out of three children born today are born in a fatherless home. In 40% of the families in America there is no father. In even more homes in our country the father is not a visible part of the family at all. God's plan for child training involves two loving parents. 

There is an undeniable linkage between fathers and their children and it begins at birth. Infants as young as 6 weeks old can tell the difference between a mother and a father’s voice. It has even been shown that babies can distinguish between their mother and father's care. Babies are born with a need to connect to their mothers and fathers but the connection is different. Children will seek out their father; want to know where he is when he is not around. As they get older children will compete for their fathers attention. They will also confront his values, beliefs and of course his limits. Children hear what their father has to say and watch how he conducts his life. 

Daddy's and Daughters

There has been a recent acknowledgment of the need for boys to have a  viable connection to their father. Little is said however, of the enormous importance of fatherhood in the lives of daughters. Because today's culture is becoming increasingly difficult and dangerous for young women, daughters needed  to fell the strength and security of a loving father. Our  daughters are being daily bombarded with cultural messages meant to define them as sexually viable at a younger age. The peer pressure to preform as adults, even before they reach puberty, is almost impossible to withstand without a strong Godly father. The lack of male leadership has created a culture of verbal, physical, and sexual assault. It has also spawned a huge rise in eating disorders, alcohol addiction, depression and suicide. 

With our daughter 

Most psychologists agree that the most important influence in a girl’s life is her father. Dr. Meg Meeker (specialist in pediatric and adolescent medicine) who has 20 years experience in counciling young women and their families had this to say, "The quality of a girl's relationship with her father has a huge impact on the formation of her personality, her level of self-esteem, confidence and happiness and therefore on the choices she makes in life. A father has the potential to give his daughter something that her mother cannot." She went on to say, "Girls today are being pushed to be more independent and autonomous at earlier ages and parents are afraid of being too protective. In our current culture girls are far more vulnerable in many ways that boys are not." Dr. Meeker emphasizes the need for fathers to monitor their daughter’s exposure to potentially harmful media and also to be vigilant when they start spending time with young men. Finally she had this distressing statistic to share, "One in eleven middle school girls has been hit, slapped or physically hurt on purpose while out with a male. One out of eleven also say they were forced to have intercourse. An astonishing 96 percent of students report that they have experienced emotional or psychological abuse while out with a male."

During the teenage years, a daughter needs her father more than ever, and fathers often misinterpret their daughter’s behavior. Dr. Meeker writes," Many fathers complain that their daughters won't talk to them. The truth is that fathers tend to discourage conversation. If a girl believes  that every conversation with you is going to be an opportunity to criticize and reprimand them, instead of finding a way to have an uplifting,  they will never open up to you! Have an encouraging conversation that will help her to feel good about herself and confident in your unconditional love! Most of all they need you to listen! If a daughter can trust her dad to listen, she will go to him when she faces difficult times or has to make life-altering decisions.

A girl whose father sets boundaries and curfews,  helps to lead and guide his daughter into a Godly relationship with a man when she is old enough to seriously consider getting married. 

Dad's need to spend time with your daughters. You need to engage your daughter on a more verbal and emotional level than your son! While it goes against your  male nature you have to try. She needs to know that you can come to her when she need the confidence, validation and reassurance that she is looking for from the opposite sex!

Finally, girls need more emotional and physical affection. If they don't feel your love and the love of God through you, demonstrated in a healthy form of physical affection, they will look for it somewhere else. If they feel valuable, worthy and loved by you then they will not need validation from someone whose only interest in them is what they can't take from them, leaving them broken, hurt and alone. The impact of a father simply giving his daughter a hug should not be underestimated. Don't withdraw from your daughter during her teen years, that’s when she needs you, the most! There is something very special and particular about this relationship. It has the potential to protect a girl emotionally, physically and psychologically, as no other relationship in her life! A young woman's relationship with her father has a significant impact on her life-long view of men, herself and God! 

Fathers and Sons

With our oldest son!

Boy's genuinely suffer in the absence or non-involvement of a father. Boys without fathers are twice as likely to drop out of school, twice as likely to go to jail and nearly 4 times as likely to need treatment for emotional and behavioral problems as boys with fathers. Research has shown that boys are seriously in trouble and the major reason for it is because dads have become so distracted, overworked, exhausted, uninterested, chemically dependent, divorced and just clueless how to relate. The absence of masculine role models and mentoring is the greatest crisis

Young men need the reassurance of a good father. Life for a teenage male can seem overwhelming and they need a father's guidance. Why do I feel something raging inside? Why is my body reacting differently to girls, and why are my emotions all over the place? Father's are specially equipped to empathize and explain the predicament that their sons are going through! In single family homes ( with a mother only) it is important to find a Godly man or male Pastor you trust, to spend some time with your son and allow them to share their frustrations and confusion with them.

Dad's, you need to be your sons greatest source of encouragement, their biggest cheerleader. You can help put what they are going through into perspective, help them see the end of the tunnel! You get to show your son how a Christian man treats women. When you speak kindly to your wife and show her the respect and honor she deserves, you are setting a example that they can continually refer to in their future relationships. The way you treat your daughter will also show them how to treat some one elses daughter! You lead by example.

With our youngest son!

It is the fathers responsibility to teach his son how to have a healthy, Biblical understanding of sexuality, not their best friend, the neighbor next door, or the porn site on the internet! Your job requires you to give them a dose of reality when it comes to the consequences of premarital sex, and pregnancy outside of marriage. Your son needs to know it is safe to come to you to get the truth and not be harshly judged. (When discipline is necessary, do it in the sprit of love and reconciliation, not out of anger or disappointment) Be transparent with him, let him see you vulnerably and susceptibility to the needs of flesh. He needs to know he is not the only one who has ever gone through this! Show him God's loving kindness, mercy and grace! Assure them that with every temptation, God always gives you the choice and the ability to walk away!

Finally show him the beauty of marriage and the wisdom in waiting for Gods best! God has not put limits on sex inside the bonds of marriage; He has however put limits on sexual immorality. God defines what is good and beneficial for his creation but he has also defined for us what is destructive.

Conclusion

One of the greatest lies being perpetuated by the so called child experts is that parents need to give their teenager children room to express themselves as individuals, 'Teens Need Their Space'. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, it is completely the opposite. Around the time your teens are stretching their wings, mothers and especially fathers have to be be even more diligent in caring for and protecting their children. There are too many dangerous traps  already being laid, and predators just waiting to pluck your child away. Be involved and diligent so you can head off the self-destructive nature of your teenager!

Don't be ignorant! The internet plays a huge role in the challenge families face today. There are so many new ways for all of the harmful things you have spent years protecting your family from, to leisurely creep into your home. Sexually explicit sites, private chatroom etc. It is imperative, especially for fathers, to understand and control accessibility to the internet and social media!  We can't expect our children to self-govern themselves! 

Finally...

Spend Time With God as a Family...Take the time to read the Word together and discuss it. Allow them to see that the most important thing you do together as a family is learn about your relationship with God together!

Become Involved in a Local Church as a Family... While this goes against the grain of our current culture, going to church together as a family is extremely important in establishing a pattern for their lives. Becoming a part of a local church that gives them a community of believers who will be a source of comfort strength. 

Pray For Them Everyday... This is one of the most important things you do for them. No one will love and care for your children the way that you do. Your prayer before God have great meaning and value. God will give you insight on how to minister to your children. He will also show how to let go and trust Him. Your time in prayer ,can be a time of comfort and healing for you, especially when you and your child are going through difficult times. 

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FORGING YOUR FAITH

To 'Forge' something, is to mold and shape something for suitable use. We believe that our lives are constantly being shaped and molded by the hand of God for His divine purpose! This publication strives to encourage believers who are beginning this process and those who are well into it! We also believe a truly successful life is a Christ-Centered Life! We hope you will join us and become a regular reader! 

Thank You and God Bless,

Marianne Mauti

Founder and CAO

'Forging Your Faith' is the online Christian publication of 'Christ the King Church' in Bellevue, Pa.

About Marianne Mauti: Marianne is a writer and blogger as well as a Pastor at "Christ the King Church" in Bellevue, Pa. She is currently the Dean and Chief Operating Officer of "Christ the King Seminary" a full time Bible Institute. For more information about us please contact us at: crowncntr@aol.com

          ***********************************************************
                                                                    ARTICLE RESOURCES

* The Bible

*Dr. George R. Beninate: Is Bishop of "Christ the King Church" in Pennsylvania, West Virginia and in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. A Doctor of Theology, Biblical Apologist, conference speaker, lecturer and my spiritual father.He is also the Author of several books including,"The Age of Glory", Thank you for your relentless pursuit of truth!

* Marianne Mauti

LOVE... Not Just Another Four Letter Word

 By Marianne Mauti

Love...Not Just Another Four Letter Word

Webster's dictionary defines the word 'Love' as an intense feeling of deep affection. However, in our present society, we use the word 'Love' to cover a vast range of emotions and experiences that don't necessarily evoke the intense feelings of deep emotion that Webster describes. We use the word "love" in ways that tend to describe how we feel about everything from 'I love pizza', to the way we express our affection for our spouse, 'I love you sweetheart'. Sadly, the word 'Love' has become a 'cliche'. Because the english language is so limited in its ability to describe true meaning, thought and emotion, we are left with only a vague and cloudy understanding of the essence of love and no understanding of it's origin. The true essence of love is lost by a secular society that doesn't know where it originates and how it is manifest! True love has a greater, deeper and more profound meaning than  human emotions can convey and the definition that Webster's dictionary reveals.   

If you want to know the true depth and meaning of 'Love', you don't have to look any further than who love is: 

"For the one who does not love, does not know God, for GOD IS LOVE” 1 John 4:8 

"We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in Him."  1 John 4:16.

God's Word (the Bible) defines love in a way that we can easily understand. The Bible declares that God is the embodiment of all there is to ever know or understand about love!  The creator of the universe wanted us to know what love is and that HE IS LOVE. Only through the knowledge of God can we really understand it's  meaning and purpose. 
So what does the Bible reveal to us about God's love?

Being Love……..

The Greek word for love used in the previous scriptures is "AGAPE'. In the original language that word is revealed as a state of , "BEING" and in it's deepest sense, "BELOVED" or "TO BE OF LOVE, BY LOVE". So what the Bible reveals is that 'Love' is not just a feeling, it is a 'state of being' and that state of being is the essence of who God is! You cannot understand love unless you understand Him. The Bible tells us that this revelation of love was fully demonstrated in the sacrifice of his son."For God So loved (Agape:beloved, being love) the world that he gave (the demonstration of his being) his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have everlasting life". 
John 3:16. "Agape Love" reveals, in its deepest sense, the true essence of Gods nature that is revealed in every one of his thoughts and actions. What is even more extraordinary is the fact that God wanted to share this divine attribute with us! When we receive His spirit at our salvation (re-birth) God's divine state of 'being love' is eternally deposited in us and becomes active through us. We now become that part of God that is 'true love' because His divine nature now dwells in us. WE ARE NOW LOVE! Apart from Him, we cannot ever 'be love' or share His love with others! 

Giving Love, To Love....

Because God IS love, only through God's nature in us can we ever truly be love.  This LOVE is then revealed to others through us! Our new state of being is revealed through recreated man all through the New Testament. This aspect of love finds it's explanation in the Greek word PHILEO. It means to 'demonstrate' being love. It is  the ability TO love or love GIVEN to another. This aspect of love can be expressed by actions that can only come from the spirit of God in us. Because God's love now lives in us we can also share His love through us! We can BE LOVE (agape) and GIVE LOVE (phileo) DEMONSTRATE HIS LOVE. 

"A new command I give you: Love (given by demonstration of who you are in Christ) one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35

True Love…….

All we will ever comprehend of God finds its meaning in the word 'Love'. God's love is demonstrated in his divine nature through Jesus Christ. Because of His love for us, we too have become love. WOW! His love has been re-created in us! It is His love that demonstrated the act of love and reached across time to reclaim us and restore us to himself as his and eternal companion. It is the same demonstration of 'being' love that is referred to in the following scripture,"Husbands love (be love) your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it". Eph. 5:25 . This verse demonstrates that love is a state of being that produces in us a Christ like action! Because of our Saviors love we can be love and give love, true love! You and I are now conduits of the divine nature of God. Apart from God, love has no true meaning or value. It can mean whatever you want it to for the moment you feel it. 

True love is not a feeling; it is an eternal state of "being" as He is and "giving" as He gave! 

It is such a little word, but for those who possess His nature. which 'is love' it is a  life-changing word. John 15:13 declares,"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Being love results in the demonstration of love,"Therefore I command you, that ye Love (be and give) one another." John 15:17 

Love's Response….. 

Apart form God we can never truly understand love or the demonstration of it! Without the true understanding of God's love and the power of it's ability to be given and received, we would just be lost in a sea of selfish human passion and fleshly desire that the secular world has mistaken for true love! Most of what the world calls 'LOVE', is what the Bible refers to as "LUST" (a strong desire for something). Lust is the complete opposite of real love. Lust isn't about giving, it is about getting. It is about self-gratification and not self-sacrifice. For most, love is a word used to express our need for something or someone (emotionally or physically). Lust will drive you to do things no matter what it may cost or who it may hurt. You see it happen everyday, all in the name of love.

When God's love is released, it is the greatest force and power in the universe! It can change a life. It can bring healing to any situation and bring peace to any circumstance.  It is the Revelation of our Creator and at the reason for our creation. Because love is now a part of our redeemed nature we have been given a great ministry to those we come in contact with every day! We are His hands, His feet and most importantly WE ARE HIS LOVE! 

"Love…. is not just another four letter word!"

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FORGING YOUR FAITH

To 'Forge' something, is to mold and shape something for suitable use. We believe that our lives are constantly being shaped and molded by the hand of God for His divine purpose! This publication strives to encourage believers who are beginning this process and those who are well into it! We also believe a truly successful life is a Christ-Centered Life! We hope you will join us and become a regular reader! 

Thank You and God Bless,

Marianne Mauti

Founder and CAO

'Forging Your Faith' is the online Christian publication of 'Christ the King Church' in Bellevue, Pa.

About Marianne Mauti: Marianne is a writer and blogger as well as a Pastor at "Christ the King Church" in Bellevue, Pa. She is currently the Dean and Chief Operating Officer of "Christ the King Seminary" a full time Bible Institute. For more information about us please contact us at: crowncntr@aol.com

          ***********************************************************
                                                                    ARTICLE RESOURCES

* The Bible

*Dr. George R. Beninate: Is Bishop of "Christ the King Church" in Pennsylvania, West Virginia and in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. A Doctor of Theology, Biblical Apologist, conference speaker, lecturer and my spiritual father.He is also the Author of several books including,"The Age of Glory", Thank you for your relentless pursuit of truth!

* Marianne Mauti

The Biblical Role of the Father

  By Marianne Mauti

The Biblical Role of the Father

Sitting on my daddy's knee.
Here with my older sister.

More than ever before, it is important for men and women to acknowledge and re-affirm the role of 'Father' in the family.God created man and made him complete by creating a woman. Together they created an earthly family. This family unit became a type of God's eternal relationship with mankind. He is our head, we are His Church (the Bride of Christ) and together we are called to produce the family of God. God, our 'Heavenly Father' similarly structured our earthly families by placing man at the head.  The importance of maintaining this God-ordained family structure cannot be minimized and the headship role of husband and father is at the core of it's success . 

Without a proper Biblical understanding and acceptance of a his role in the family, it isn't possible for a man to spiritually and physically lead his family. Without a God ordained head the family structure can't be maintained. According to Gods plan, being a responsible father necessitates being a good husband (1 Cor. 7:1-5). God commands that a husband love, honor, nourish and cherish his wife (Eph. 5:25-30; Col. 3:19; 1 Pet. 3:7), then he will be in the right position to do the same as a good father.

When a man effectively leads his family and follows Biblical principles, the result is harmony, peace and fulfillment. It doesn't mean there are never any problems, what it does however provide, is the right formula for success. God promises that families that follow His plan will be blessed.  If the man fulfills His God-given role as a husband and father, he ultimately ensures the health and well being of his wife and children. 

The Role of Fathers in Today's Culture

Unfortunately today most men don't understand the importance of  God's family structure.  Men are sadly relinquishing their headship role in an alarming rate, in pursuit of material success. This has left an undue burdened on wives and results in less time with the children. It seems that in today's family formula anything goes. Any relationship role is acceptable, in any manner or form deemed time efficient, culturally acceptable and personally pleasing. As a result, for the last several decades, we have begun to see its effect on the family structure. So, how have modern social and economic formulas changed the role of the father? 

Before the industrial revolution, fathers often worked side by side with their sons and instruct their children in spiritual values. When industrialization took over the American landscape, fathers left their farms and headed to the factories. Fourteen to sixteen hour workdays set the stage for the absentee father. Fatherhood eventually came to be regarded as the breadwinner who fulfilled their parental duties by providing. They also led the family in establishing moral values and saw to the religious education of their children. 

The time spent away from the family began to erode the father's most important role, headship. Children began to relay more on the mother for their physical and spiritual instruction. Conversely, with more time away from their family, men were drawn to and influenced by alternate lifestyles which led to a sharp increase in abandonment, illegitimacy and  necessitated the development of welfare programs to assist the women and children affected. 

In more recent decades, the changing role of women has had the greatest impact on the role of the father. Between 1948-2001, working age women employed or looking for work nearly doubled from less than 33% to more than 60%. The increase in their financial independence made the financial leadership of the father less important. The increase rate of divorce , remarriage and childbirth outside of marriage, have resulted in a transition from the Biblical role of a father to multiple and undefined roles. Today's fathers have been forced to take on roles vastly different than the one God originally designed.

The Effect on Your Children

The increased rate of divorce and re-marriage, and the new multiple, undefined roles for fathers has not only effected the role of husbands and wives, but it has effected and redefined a fathers relationship with his children. One thing is clear , however the family is defined today, the role of the father is still as important as it was when God first instituted it. Recent research on the role of fathers reveals something the Bible has long advocated; the love and influence of a father's love on their child's development is as great as the influence of a mother's love. A fathers love and influence have been shown to help their children develop a sense of security, which directly effects their social, emotional and cognitive development and function. Children who receive more love from their fathers are less likely to struggle with behavioral and substance abuse problems.

If Christian men do not teach their sons how to be a Godly husband and father, by example,  we will continue to see decline in the family and an ongoing erosion of Godly principles and values in our society. As a result, we will continue to see tremendous fractures grow between parents and children. The lack of Christ centered love and discipline will continue  tear at the framework of the family. Many scholars agree that the heart of a successful civilization is a strong family structure. 

A Good Father

The Bible is a revelation of mans inability, apart from God, to live a blessed and prosperous life. Wherever there is sin and separation from God there will be problems. Knowing that, God is here to help families live and thrive in an imperfect world, even as we work through the consequences of our own mistakes. God begins by giving men and women defined roles and  relationship parameters in which to live.  Solomon, considered to be the wisest man to ever live, had his share of family problems. He reminds us in Ecclesiastes that whatever mankind is working through today are the same issues they were working through then. " What has been will be again, whatever has been done, will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. (Ecc. 1:9). If a successful civilization requires a strong family structure it would seem sensible for us to go to the Creator, read what He has to say about it! 

Most importantly, it is necessary for father's and mother's to understand and accept their  God-given roles. When you look at the confusion in male and female roles today, is it any wonder so many children are confused, emotionally disconnected and searching in all the wrong places for love, affection and acceptance. The restoration of a God centered family begins with understanding the proper Biblical role of the father! So how does God's Word define a good father? 

A Good Father... is one whose priorities in his family match those that Jesus described in Matthew 22: "Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the Law of Moses?" Jesus replied, " You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' The entire law and all demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments."

Love is inherent in God's nature, as his children we are called to give God the love that is within us. It is the greatest command because it is the foundation of our relationship with God, our creator. It is also the guiding principle and the foundation of relationship between a father and his children. It is in fact an earthly example given to our earthly children so that they can see and understand the love of God and His role in our eternal life! The Bible does give us a description of the way we should express our love one to another. It also shows us the heart of a father towards his children. God’s love is a selfless love and serves as the example of what a fathers love should also be. There is so much we can learn about the nature of fatherhood through our relationship with God: "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance." 1 Cor. 13; 4-7

A Good Father…. teaches his children how to live a Godly life, through instruction and discipline. He will treat them with love and dignity so that they understand the reason for the correction and do not become angry. It should always be done in the spirit of love: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord." Eph. 6:4

A Good Father …. is a giving father. He is giving of his time and resources to all of his children because he wants what is best for them. Luke 11:11-13 shows us the heart giving nature of a father: " Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then thought you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!"

A Good Father… teaches his children how to serve others, to be benevolent and kind: "Father to the fatherless, defender of widows- this is God, whose dwellings holy." Psalm 68:5

A Good Father… disciplines those he loves. Our children need to understand that wrong behavior alway leads to consequences, sometimes very painful and life long ones. Far better for them to learn this from you than to find it out in jail someday: "For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights." Proverbs 3:12

A Good Father… is compassionate to his children. He tries to understand his children's issues and struggles, from their point of view. He takes into consideration all of the things they have to deal with in the world, and from their peers. He tries to remembers what he went through as a child. It is important to show our children there is mercy and forgiveness  for what they have done. By doing this you teach your children the compassion and mercy and forgiveness of God: "As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him." Psalm 103:13

A Good Father… teaches his children about God their 'Heavenly Father', through His Word. He shows them the way of eternal salvation through His Son Jesus Christ and how to receive the indwelling of His Holy Spirit so they are enable to live in in an imperfect world with God's power and authority. God has is given charge to instruct our children in all the ways of the Lord.

As For Me and My House

There is a wonderful example in the Bible of what God intended a father to be. It can be found in the book of Joshua 24:1-15. Joshua was a visible leader in his nation and also spiritual leader in his home. God's plan is that the father be the visible provider, protector, example and teacher to his children. A father must take responsibility for his family! 

A Responsible Father.... is one who takes his God given responsibilities with God’s help and carries them out. 14 "Now fear the Lord and serve Him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshipped beyond the River Euphrates and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then chose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:14-15

A Responsible Father…. believes in teaching their children dedication to God and biblical morality. Joshua believed that as a father he needed to make certain commitments to God and God's principles that were given to his people to live by. He was a Godly influence on his family and his nation. Many fathers today spend more time supporting their favorite sports team then spending time with their children. Find something you can all enjoy together. Whenever you spend time with your family you promote a healthy attitude of caring, sharing, giving and serving. All of these are the building blocks of character.

A Responsible Father… never places work above his family. If you feel it is more important for you to provide them money, cars, homes, game systems, vacations, computers etc. to you children than spending time with them, you are teaching them to misplace their values. You are also showing them that what is more important you than them. Giving them the reward of your hard work is never going to replace the importance of the value of your time in their lives.

My husband with his family!

A Responsible Father... lives by a set of standards and teaches his family the moral and ethics value of God's Word. Joshua was willing to take a stand that was not popular. “Choose you this day whom you will serve, as for me….". He made his choice based on his confidence, trust and love for God. While others chose to live for their own pleasure and selfish desires Joshua was a man who stood for what is right and he set an example for his family and nation. Joshua chose the road of faithfulness and obedience rather than the popularity and recognition of men. 

Being a Responsible Father... may mean you will have to occasionally make choices that are not popular with your family.  It takes conviction to live according to Gods word but it is your responsibility to do so, and if you truly love your children they will be more important than what others may think. 

A Responsible Father… is unselfish; each and every decision includes his family. He puts their need above his own. A mother was not designed to raise the children alone. God has delegated the responsibilities for raising children to both parents, and each fills a role that the other cannot perform. The father’s presence should be felt in his home through its rules, and its worship and with his gentle love, leadership, and example. Training and admonition mean more than simply discipline or punishment for wrongdoing. They imply that a father should spend time instructing and training his children to do what is right. Children need to understand how to do what is good and avoid those things, which are evil. A responsible father will show them the right path and start them out on it. The ultimate goal is to get  lead them in their walk with God, so eventually they will submit their life to Him. 

The greatest tragedy of we are experiencing today is the lack of Biblical understanding and the failure of even Christian fathers to accept  their leadership role! One out of three children born today are born in a fatherless home. In 40% of the families in America there is no father. In even more homes in our country the father is not a visible part of the family at all. God's plan for child training involves two loving parents. 

There is an undeniable linkage between fathers and their children and it begins at birth. Infants as young as 6 weeks old can tell the difference between a mother and a father’s voice. It has even been shown that babies can distinguish between their mother and father's care. Babies are born with a need to connect to their mothers and fathers but the connection is different. Children will seek out their father; want to know where he is when he is not around. As they get older children will compete for their fathers attention. They will also confront his values, beliefs and of course his limits. Children hear what their father has to say and watch how he conducts his life. 

Daddy's and Daughters

There has been a recent acknowledgment of the need for boys to have a  viable connection to their father. Little is said however, of the enormous importance of fatherhood in the lives of daughters. Because today's culture is becoming increasingly difficult and dangerous for young women, daughters needed  to fell the strength and security of a loving father. Our  daughters are being daily bombarded with cultural messages meant to define them as sexually viable at a younger age. The peer pressure to preform as adults, even before they reach puberty, is almost impossible to withstand without a strong Godly father. The lack of male leadership has created a culture of verbal, physical, and sexual assault. It has also spawned a huge rise in eating disorders, alcohol addiction, depression and suicide. 

With our daughter 

Most psychologists agree that the most important influence in a girl’s life is her father. Dr. Meg Meeker (specialist in pediatric and adolescent medicine) who has 20 years experience in counciling young women and their families had this to say, "The quality of a girl's relationship with her father has a huge impact on the formation of her personality, her level of self-esteem, confidence and happiness and therefore on the choices she makes in life. A father has the potential to give his daughter something that her mother cannot." She went on to say, "Girls today are being pushed to be more independent and autonomous at earlier ages and parents are afraid of being too protective. In our current culture girls are far more vulnerable in many ways that boys are not." Dr. Meeker emphasizes the need for fathers to monitor their daughter’s exposure to potentially harmful media and also to be vigilant when they start spending time with young men. Finally she had this distressing statistic to share, "One in eleven middle school girls has been hit, slapped or physically hurt on purpose while out with a male. One out of eleven also say they were forced to have intercourse. An astonishing 96 percent of students report that they have experienced emotional or psychological abuse while out with a male."

During the teenage years, a daughter needs her father more than ever, and fathers often misinterpret their daughter’s behavior. Dr. Meeker writes," Many fathers complain that their daughters won't talk to them. The truth is that fathers tend to discourage conversation. If a girl believes  that every conversation with you is going to be an opportunity to criticize and reprimand them, instead of finding a way to have an uplifting,  they will never open up to you! Have an encouraging conversation that will help her to feel good about herself and confident in your unconditional love! Most of all they need you to listen! If a daughter can trust her dad to listen, she will go to him when she faces difficult times or has to make life-altering decisions.

A girl whose father sets boundaries and curfews,  helps to lead and guide his daughter into a Godly relationship with a man when she is old enough to seriously consider getting married. Dad's need to spend time with your daughters. You need to engage your daughter on a more verbal and emotional level than your son! While it goes against your  male nature you have to try. She needs to know that you can come to her when she need the confidence, validation and reassurance that she is looking for from the opposite sex!

Finally, girls need more emotional and physical affection. If they don't feel your love and the love of God through you, demonstrated in a healthy form of physical affection, they will look for it somewhere else. If they feel valuable, worthy and loved by you then they will not need validation from someone whose only interest in them is what they can't take from them, leaving them broken, hurt and alone. The impact of a father simply giving his daughter a hug should not be underestimated. Don't withdraw from your daughter during her teen years, that’s when she needs you, the most! There is something very special and particular about this relationship. It has the potential to protect a girl emotionally, physically and psychologically, as no other relationship in her life! A young woman's relationship with her father has a significant impact on her life-long view of men, herself and God! 

Fathers and Sons

With our oldest son!

Boy's genuinely suffer in the absence or non-involvement of a father. Boys without fathers are twice as likely to drop out of school, twice as likely to go to jail and nearly 4 times as likely to need treatment for emotional and behavioral problems as boys with fathers. Research has shown that boys are seriously in trouble and the major reason for it is because dads have become so distracted, overworked, exhausted, uninterested, chemically dependent, divorced and just clueless how to relate. The absence of masculine role models and mentoring is the greatest crisis

Young men need the reassurance of a good father. Life for a teenage male can seem overwhelming and they need a father's guidance. Why do I feel something raging inside? Why is my body reacting differently to girls, and why are my emotions all over the place? Father's are specially equipped to empathize and explain the predicament that their sons are going through! In single family homes ( with a mother only) it is important to find a Godly man or male Pastor you trust, to spend some time with your son and allow them to share their frustrations and confusion with them.

Dad's, you need to be your sons greatest source of encouragement, their biggest cheerleader. You can help put what they are going through into perspective, help them see the end of the tunnel! You get to show your son how a Christian man treats women. When you speak kindly to your wife and show her the respect and honor she deserves, you are setting a example that they can continually refer to in their future relationships. The way you treat your daughter will also show them how to treat some one elses daughter! You lead by example.

With our youngest son!

It is the fathers responsibility to teach his son how to have a healthy, Biblical understanding of sexuality, not their best friend, the neighbor next door, or the porn site on the internet! Your job requires you to give them a dose of reality when it comes to the consequences of premarital sex, and pregnancy outside of marriage. Your son needs to know it is safe to come to you to get the truth and not be harshly judged. (When discipline is necessary, do it in

 the sprit of love and reconciliation, not out of anger or disappointment) Be transparent with him, let him see you vulnerably and susceptibility to the needs of flesh. He needs to know he is not the only one who has ever gone through this! Show him God's loving kindness, mercy and grace! Assure them that with every temptation, God always gives you the choice and the ability to walk away!

Finally show him the beauty of marriage and the wisdom in waiting for Gods best! God has not put limits on sex inside the bonds of marriage; He has however put limits on sexual immorality. God defines what is good and beneficial for his creation but he has also defined for us what is destructive.

Conclusion

One of the greatest lies being perpetuated by the so called child experts is that parents need to give their teenager children room to express themselves as individuals, 'Teens Need Their Space'. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, it is completely the opposite. Around the time your teens are stretching their wings, mothers and especially fathers have to be be even more diligent in caring for and protecting their children. There are too many dangerous traps  already being laid, and predators just waiting to pluck your child away. Be involved and diligent so you can head off the self-destructive nature of your teenager!

Don't be ignorant! The internet plays a huge role in the challenge families face today. There are so many new ways for all of the harmful things you have spent years protecting your family from, to leisurely creep into your home. Sexually explicit sites, private chatroom etc. It is imperative, especially for fathers, to understand and control accessibility to the internet and social media!  We can't expect our children to self-govern themselves! 

Finally...

Spend Time With God as a Family...Take the time to read the Word together and discuss it. Allow them to see that the most important thing you do together as a family is learn about your relationship with God together!

Become Involved in a Local Church as a Family... While this goes against the grain of our current culture, going to church together as a family is extremely important in establishing a pattern for their lives. Becoming a part of a local church that gives them a community of believers who will be a source of comfort strength. 

Pray For Them Everyday... This is one of the most important things you do for them. No one will love and care for your children the way that you do. Your prayer before God have great meaning and value. God will give you insight on how to minister to your children. He will also show how to let go and trust Him. Your time in prayer ,can be a time of comfort and healing for you, especially when you and your child are going through difficult times. 

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FORGING YOUR FAITH

To 'Forge' something, is to mold and shape something for suitable use. We believe that our lives are constantly being shaped and molded by the hand of God for His divine purpose! This publication strives to encourage believers who are beginning this process and those who are well into it! We also believe a truly successful life is a Christ-Centered Life! We hope you will join us and become a regular reader! 

Thank You and God Bless,

Marianne Mauti

Founder and CAO

'Forging Your Faith' is the online Christian publication of 'Christ the King Church' in Bellevue, Pa.

About Marianne Mauti: Marianne is a writer and blogger as well as a Pastor at "Christ the King Church" in Bellevue, Pa. She is currently the Dean and Chief Operating Officer of "Christ the King Seminary" a full time Bible Institute. For more information about us please contact us at: crowncntr@aol.com

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                                                                    ARTICLE RESOURCES

* The Bible

*Dr. George R. Beninate: Is Bishop of "Christ the King Church" in Pennsylvania, West Virginia and in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. A Doctor of Theology, Biblical Apologist, conference speaker, lecturer and my spiritual father.He is also the Author of several books including,"The Age of Glory", Thank you for your relentless pursuit of truth!

* Marianne Mauti