Regrets, I've Had a Few

 By Marianne Mauti

Regrets, Iv'e Had a Few

Many years ago my husband and I went to see Frank Sinatra in concert. The last song of the night was the crowd favorite, "My Way.” I remember wondering as I watched him, what the words to this song meant to him now that he was in the twilight of his life and career :

Regrets, I've had a few, But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption. I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway, and more, much more than this, I did it MY WAY…………

How often do we wish we could do parts of our life over or wish our last spoken word to someone could be unsaid? How many of our actions do we wish we hadn’t taken? How many times do we wish we had another opportunity to say or do something that we didn’t and now it is too late? Maybe it was a bad financial decision, or a severed relationship. All too often our lives are held captive by the actions or experiences that we eventually regret. I find as I grow older, (those twilight years are coming fast) I am more fully aware and have a greater appreciation for the mistakes I have made and the opportunities I have missed. I do have regrets! For that reason I felt it was important for me to understand what role, if any, regrets should have in the life of a Christian.

After a lot of study this week and spending time seeking some wisdom from God here are some conclusions I have come to . I would like to suggest to you, what I had often in the past referred to as regret, I believe now was actually remorse and I have discovered there is a difference. While regret and remorse can share similarities on an emotional level, they are different in their intent, their purpose in our lives. I know this appears to be a matter of semantics but the way our mind perceives our words does make a difference in how we react to them and what God intended them to provoke in our lives!

REMORSE… is defined as:  A deep guilt we carry because of a wrong we have committed. The word “guilt” in the New Testament comes from the Greek Word “enoches” and it means:  Liable for offending God and thus deserving of punishment. The guilt we feel is because deep down we realize we have committed an offense against God and we are liable or accountable to answer to him for it!. That deep pain of remorse allows The Holy Spirit to bring conviction, which will hopefully cause you to repent and receive Gods forgiveness!  (2 Corinthians 7:10). Remorse is the pathway to forgiveness! The liability you once had for your sin is removed as far as the east is from the west and God remembers that liability no more! All guilt associated with it is also gone, removed forever.

REGRET... is defined as a sadness we experience when reminded of the past or as a result of a missed opportunity, or action: The Hebrew for regret in the Old Testament is “nacham”. It means to be sorry, to regret, to console oneself, change minds.What we experience, after the remorse and guilt has been removed through repentance and Gods forgiveness (our forgiveness of ourselves also) is what I now believe is regret. Regret is, even years later,  a reminder of the sadness we experienced as a result of our actions or missed opportunities. Whether we like it or not things we say or do have consequences. Some of our consequences are gone in time others are a lasting reminder of the choices we have made. Our regret if understood for its benefit, can be a useful reminder of the consequence of our actions, as well as the sadness over our past situations and missed opportunities .It can be instrumental in changing our mind and bring us some consolation about our past if it keeps us from making the same mistake again!

DO NOT DWELL ON THE PAST...

I am not suggesting that we are supposed to dwell on our past remorse, the Bible warns us concerning that. Philippians 3:13-  “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead” .I do believe that we can look at our past beyond the pain and guilt of our actions, put it in the proper perspective and allow the Holy spirit to give us the strength we need to make right choices in the future. Regretting a past mistake can motivate us to do what God in many cases wanted us to do in the first place.

MOTIVATION FOR CHANGE…..

Many years ago my husband felt that he was supposed to share salvation with a relative who was very ill and most likely dying. He kept putting it off and had what he felt at the time were legitimate reasons why he couldn’t get to it yet. Unfortunately the individual passed away before they were able to talk. There is no way to determine that it would have made a difference or if they had not already made their peace with God, however, because he felt so strongly that he failed in doing what God had asked him to do, he had great remorse and guilt. That remorse led him to seek Gods forgiveness. That day he promised God that he would never find himself in a similar situation again. He has lived up to his promise and more! He has shared that story with others and I have heard him remark that the regret he felt over not speaking out then reminds him to be certain  to say what he needs to now! He doesn’t beat himself up over it or dwell on his past remorse. He has learned an important lesson, one that he doesn’t ever want to repeat, and God has used his lesson to benefit others!

NO CONDEMNATION…….

It is important not to allow regret to return us to our old remorse or guilt and empower its partner condemnation. Condemnation is not from God, in fact the enemy of your victory and your own flesh will continue to hold you accountable for something God does not recognize any more, but only if you allow him to. You can’t change the past but you can ruin the present and hinder your future. Some of us hold onto the deep and consuming remorse that needlessly burdens our lives. 

 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

God wants us to learn valuable lessons from our past. He does not want us to ignore it or fail to move forward because of it. Don’t waste the experience you can gain from it but don’t hold onto the guilt of something you are no longer liable to God for and never allow it to bring condemnation that can keep you from a fulfilling life in Christ Jesus! Use your sorrow over missed opportunities or mistakes to keep you from having any more regret! Strive to live for Gods glory and the honor of his name!

IN CONCLUSION...

I realize there are some out there who may disagree with my point of view concerning regret. I  believe it is grounded in truth and understanding from Gods Word. I hope I have expressed adequately the difference I believe there is in the remorse, pain and guilt of our actions that I do not believe God wants us to carry from our past into our future, but the value of allowing our past to remind why we must leave those choices behind in the form of our regret .The value of our experience is  how it causes us to grow and mature in God and how it can and will befit others! Finally the Bible tells us that even God felt sorrow, regret over making man in Genesis 6:6: “The Lord regretted (Nacham) that he had made human beings on earth and His heart was deeply troubled.”

  God revealed to us His sadness and regret over creating man , God confessed to being troubled by His decision! Because of this, we should at least  acknowledge regret is a part of Gods nature. Our regret should lead us to change our mind about our current coarse and bring us some consolation as we view it for its purpose and intent and allow it to benefit us now and in the future. So, yeah, regrets…. I’ve had a few!

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FORGING YOUR FAITH

To 'Forge' something, is to mold and shape something for suitable use. We believe that our lives are constantly being shaped and molded by the hand of God for His divine purpose! This publication strives to encourage believers who are beginning this process and those who are well into it! We also believe a truly successful life is a Christ-Centered Life! We hope you will join us and become a regular reader! 

Thank You and God Bless,

Marianne Mauti

Founder and CAO

'Forging Your Faith' is the online Christian publication of 'Christ the King Church' in Bellevue, Pa.

About Marianne Mauti: Marianne is a writer and blogger as well as a Pastor at "Christ the King Church" in Bellevue, Pa. She is currently the Dean and Chief Operating Officer of "Christ the King Seminary" a full time Bible Institute. For more information about us please contact us at: crowncntr@aol.com

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                                                                    ARTICLE RESOURCES

* The Bible

* Song: "My Way", written by Paul Anka and recorded by Frank Sinatra among others.

*Dr. George R. Beninate: Is Bishop of "Christ the King Church" in Pennsylvania, West Virginia and in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. A Doctor of Theology, Biblical Apologist, conference speaker, lecturer and my spiritual father.He is also the Author of several books including,"The Age of Glory", Thank you for your relentless pursuit of truth!